Van Helsing

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While watching Van Helsing on Friday night, I kept picturing Steven Sommers planning this film:
So, there's this guy Van Helsing, played by Hugh Jackman, and he kills vampires. But it's not just a vampire movie, see. We'll put in a werewolf, and Frankenstein's monster, and that Igor guy from Young Frankenstein, and uh... who else, that Mr. Hyde guy from the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and we've got these naked brides of Dracula, and Kate Beckinsdale in a corset, but we'll put some ruffles on top so it looks Transylvanian.

Oh, yeah, the plot. Yeah, we'll need one of those. Lemme think. Well, Van Helsing is a monster hunter, like a supernatural Dirty Harry, but sexier and more mysterious because he's lost his memory. And he's sent to Transylvania to save Kate Beckinsdale, who's from a family of monster hunters. And, there's this guy who's like Q from James Bond who's got these gadgets for Van Helsing to use, like an automatic crossbow and a light bomb for killing vampires. And then Dracula has these eggs, like in Alien, and he wants to hatch them and make a master race of vamp... Uh, dude can you pass the bong?

As an added bonus when the horse and carriage crashes, it bursts into flame.

The bit about the horse and carriage was pointed out to me by Andrew Houghton.

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1 Comments

Sounds like a fun movie.

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