Everybody has loved watching the competition to see which of those spunky little 18 year-olds on The Scholar is going to receive the scholarship. But those kids are so bright and overachieving that the audience knows that all of them, not just the winner, will end up going to college somewhere. But think about how much more interesting the competition will be as graduate students battle it out for the holy grail of American higher education: a tenure-track faculty position! With so few graduating Ph.D.s landing one of these babies, the competition in this reality show will make Survivor look like a walk in the park.
Heller goes on to describe the various hoops that students would be made to jump through on his show. If you're an academic it will probably sound pretty familiar.